Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
