we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The feeling are messing with the penis
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
wow bdsm is so cute
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize