She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
