I hate your face
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
