mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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