He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
