idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
