So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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