she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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