This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He better not be in your backpack
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
