yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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