I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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