OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
birth control should be required to get into college
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
