So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
