I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
