I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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