if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
