I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize