You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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