My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
