Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
