She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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