I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
