That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
