i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
