What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
