You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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