hell yes lets make some ravioli
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
