More tranny stories later!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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