So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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