I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think people are normalizing furries
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
