I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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