She is in my trunk
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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