**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
