I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I accidentally had phone sex last night
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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