Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
