she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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