Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just gargled with NyQuil
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
