no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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