So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
