her vagine was all disorganized.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
