She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
