Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
