I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
