I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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