Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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