ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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