Ambien. No doubt about it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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