dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
