Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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