you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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