WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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