I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
