I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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