sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
