Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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