I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
