All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
