Porn is love you can see.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
