I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
