Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
