when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
