please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
