dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
