Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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