You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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