Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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