i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I want a musical about memes.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
