found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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