i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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