Whod you bang
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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